Manager Skill

How to have difficult conversations at work

Lasting Brain Health · Updated June 2026 · 6 min read

Short answer: Difficult conversations go better when you prepare, lead with facts and care, listen more than you talk, and agree a clear next step. Avoiding them is what actually damages performance and trust.

Prepare before you talk

Get clear on the specific behaviour or issue (not a vague feeling), the impact, and the outcome you want. Pick a private setting and enough time. Assume positive intent — most problems are misunderstandings or unmet needs, not bad character.

A simple structure

Open honestly and kindly: name the topic without a long wind-up.
State the facts: the specific situation and its impact, observably.
Ask and listen: invite their view and genuinely hear it — there’s often context you’re missing.
Agree a next step: one concrete change, and how you’ll follow up.
End with support: make clear you’re on their side.

Stay fair and calm

Separate the person from the problem. Avoid absolutes (“you always”), labels, and surprises. If emotions spike, slow down or pause and resume — pressure rarely produces honesty.

A note on sensitive situations

If a performance issue might involve health, disability, or neurodivergence, focus on work and support, not diagnosis, and loop in HR where appropriate. You’re a manager, not a clinician.

FAQ

What if they get upset?

Slow down, acknowledge the feeling, and stay on the facts and the shared goal. It’s fine to pause and resume.

Should I script it?

Prepare your opening and key facts, but stay flexible — listening matters more than a perfect script.

How do I follow up?

Agree one concrete change and a check-in date, then actually hold it. Follow-through is where trust is built.

Lasting Brain Health provides science-backed education and training. We are not lawyers or clinicians; this is general information, not legal, medical, or clinical advice.